I miss you
by Lemon Out
Summary: What happens to the children when Mary Poppins leaves? And what happens to Mary Poppins when she has to leave this wonderful place?


Jane and Michael ran up the stairs to Mary's bedroom as soon as the front door had closed behind them and, after skidding to a halt in front of the closed bedroom door, knocked twice, smiles lighting up their faces. After a long moment of silence Michael looked at his sister, a frown slowly forming as he knocked more loudly.

"Mary Poppins?" Jane called out, placing an ear to the door to listen for a response. "Hello? Mary Poppins?" her voice rang with concern.

"Where _is_ she?" Michael asked, looking annoyed as he stared at the door knob as if expecting it to magically open. He glanced at his sister again before hammering his fists against the door.

"Michael! You're making too much noise!" Jane panicked, eyes wide. As if on cue, they heard Mr. Banks shout up the stairs.

"What is all that banging, children?"

"Nothing, Father!" Jane replied quickly, elbowing her younger brother as he raised a fist to the door once more. She waited to see if her father would respond but upon hearing nothing, she turned back to Michael.

"Do you think she really went?" Her brow was furrowed and even the thought of their nanny not being there anymore brought tears to her eyes.

"No! We promised to be good! She didn't even say good-bye. Maybe she is sleeping and can't hear us." Without waiting for a reply, he ran along the hallway and into their playroom before approaching the drawn curtains that separated the playroom from the bedroom. Jane was soon at his side and they both stared at the curtains with big eyes. When nothing happened, Michael took a step forward and pulled open the curtains hurriedly, feeling a bit sick as he knew he was absolutely _not_ allowed to enter the nanny's bedroom without permission.

"Michael!" Jane repeated, face aghast as she watched her brother enter Mary Poppins' room. Her need to know what had happened soon outweighed her need to be obedient however and she quickly followed Michael into the room, drawing the curtains hastily behind her lest her parents should come upstairs. Turning back to face the room, a gasp escaped her lips as she looked around. The room was empty, bar the bed and original furniture that had been there for as long as she could remember. "Its all gone!" Forgetting all about her brother, she wandered around the room, tears once more forming in her eyes. Her fingertips trailed over the walls as she walked, taking it all in. The hat stand wasn't there anymore. Nor the lamp. The plant had disappeared. Even the small mirror was back in place on the wall.

"But.. we were being _good_!" Michael said forcefully, his face flushed red from emotion. "We never once put toads in her bed! _Or_ pepper in her tea!" His playful and boisterous persona fell as he realized what had happened. "She's really gone." He turned to his sister, a glum expression on his face. "We didn't even get to tell Mary Poppins about flying our kite with Father."

"She really mustn't have loved us even a little bit." Jane replied sadly, tears finally starting to fall.

* * *

Mary landed on a particularly soft cloud and placed her carpeted bag down alongside the thankfully silent parrot umbrella. Her heart was pounding and she felt positively unsettled. It was that blasted parrot, she was sure of it. Rolling her eyes, she removed her hat, balancing it precariously on the top of her bag. And then she just sat, waiting for the peaceful feeling that usually appeared right about now to wash over her.

"Well, that was rather rude of you I must say, Mary Poppins." a voice said, causing Mary to jump slightly before turning to her right and spotting the parrot. "You wouldn't very much like to be quietened in that way, would you?"

"_I_ wouldn't meddle in things that didn't concern me." she replied pointedly. "If I did then I would fully expect some to 'quieten' me." She turned away from the talkative parrot and looked out into the sky, enjoying the slight breeze and determinedly trying to bestow calm on herself.

"Some things need to be said, I think. If I know you at all, I would guess that it this very moment you are trying to ignore me - very rude! - while also attempting to forget about the family you have just left. And probably Bert too."

Mary winced slightly at the truth of these words, immediately straightening up even further, clasping her hands together tightly and refusing to answer, her mouth set in a firm line.

"I know you're listening, Mary Poppins. I know that you try and resist any integration into anything even remotely 'sentimental', but that isn't to mean that you don't have those feelings. All I'm trying to say is that maybe you should admit to having them. It isn't a weakness, it's a strength!"

"Oh, such nonsense!" Mary said derisively, heart pounding harder as she willed the tears away. "How on earth would _you_ know if I had any of that sentimental nonsense?"

"How many families have you worked with? Lots. And I've seen you leave them all. This time was the first time I detected sadness in your voice. I could even sense your hesitation in leaving. Any other family you have left, you have done so with not so much as a faltering step. Usually by this time, you're quite contentedly singing a song as you await a new family. I'm telling you, it's all different this time. You feel more for them than you are saying."

"That is _quite_ enough, thank you." Mary replied sternly, casting her gaze on the umbrella to enforce her point. With a deep frown she turned back to view the clouds, trying to stop the thoughts that were pinging around her mind and failing. "I mean, _really_!" she muttered to herself, shaking her head slightly as if trying to physically dislodge those pesky thoughts. He was right of course. He usually was, which she was loathe to admit. She couldn't put her finger on what it was that was making her feel this way but she couldn't deny that her heart.. well, it seemed to _ache_. Quite painfully. "Why would I feel like this?" she asked softly, in such a quiet voice that the parrot could quite easily pretend he hadn't heard it and she could just as easily pretend she was talking to herself. However, right now it was time for honesty and some truths to be aired and so both parties addressed the reality.

"I don't have all the answers, Mary Poppins. I'm sure that it is a mixture of many things. Bert is very close by when you're at the Banks' residence, for one. Uncle Albert is just a small walk away. The children were lovelier than most. Let's not forget that Mrs Corry's gingerbread shop is a mere hop, skip and jump from number seventeen Cherry Tree Lane. You always have had a sweet tooth."

"I can say with absolute certainty that Mrs Corry makes _the_ best gingerbread I have ever tasted, if you could eat I'm sure you would have a sweet tooth too. I suppose you're right, dear thing, there are many things to miss from my latest family. I just don't understand why it is upsetting me so. What can I do to make it subside?" It was almost unheard of, for Mary Poppins herself to ask for help. It made her feel rather vulnerable and uncomfortable and brought back memories which she would prefer to forget. This paled into insignificance though when she noted her discomfort at how she was feeling at the moment.

"What do _you_ think you should do? Deep down you know, Mary Poppins, you just need to acknowledge it."

At any other time, Mary would chastise the parrot for being rather pompous. At this moment, however, she once again had to concede that he was talking sense and she sat for a short while thinking over what she had to do. "I do rather believe that I need to go back. I need to say goodbye."

The parrot declined to reply to this, choosing that particular moment to feign sleep. He knew that anything he said now would make little difference anyway and so he just wanted to revel in his part of helping the infamous, the _glorious _Mary Poppins. He did however keep one eye slightly open and watched sneakily as Mary placed the hat on her head again, picked up her carpeted bag and then felt, with a jolt, himself being picked up. One last glance at the scenery around him and he was suddenly flying through the skies, Mary Poppins by his side.

* * *

**Thank you so much to anyone who has read this. If you are able to, reviews would be very welcome. I have many ideas as to where this story could go but obviously there would be little point in writing it if people didn't want it, so.. yeah, if you'd like more please let me know! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this as I was pretty nervous posting it! xx**


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